On2Victory

Boy am I pumped. All of the hard work and sweat and pushing through it all boils down to this first moment. I cant hardly believe how far I have come. I run into people that used to know me from before but havent seen me since I changed jobs and they all have nice things to say about my progress. That means alot to me because many times I dont see whats happening. I am wearing smaller clothes, able to do more etc…. but i sometimes still dont see it.

On Thanksgiving day I will be running the Turkey Trot 5K. I am soooo excited. I turned down some serious overtime pay to do this. That is how stongly I feel about doing this and relishing a winning experiencing. Not winning a race but winning over my own limitations, self doubt and obesity. Obesity is far more than simply carrying around a few pounds, obesity destroys the will, destroys your dreams and eliminates your desire to reach, putting you into a rut of a defeated life.  Soon your mind is trained not to expect anything out of yourself because that is easier than facing your condition head on and doing something about it and not stopping until you see the checkered flag.

Losing weight and getting healthy is far more than fitting into the next size down, it is reprogramming yourself to accept the fact that you are capable and are able to push past limitations one step at a time. It took me a long time to believe the fact that I could even participate in a 5K, my trainer saw it long before I ever saw it. Now that I can believe in myself, I know that not only a 5K is possible but a 10K next year is not out of the question. 

 I had the best woo hoo moment so far. I jogged 5 miles yesterday, no walking. Another 1.2 miles and I will be 10K material and I havent run my first 5K yet - (coming up this Thanksgiving - Turkey Trot) This is a huge moment for me. I couldn’t jog more than a few phone poles without my legs being on fire and lungs burning, gasping for breath and my face beet red.  I am so happy that I have come so far but yet I want to do more, go farther and with a better time. I have to fight that and be happy for the moment and the accomplishments that I have had so far. 

I love running, I never thought that I would ever say something like that but it represents everything I have done right so far. Every success is embodied in my ability to run. It was the one thing that I was not able to do, now it is the one thing that I can do that declares my freedom from the bondage of morbid obesity.  I am technically still morbidly obese, but I dont live that way anymore, think that way anymore, and function like that anymore. I am actually quite fit for my weight and can out distance guys half my weight, like that matters, but I am always amused when people judge me by my waistline and not by my accomplishments and how surprised they are when they see how well I am doing.

Freedoms not exercised are soon lost. I am rapidly growing to love running more and more because it is the physical expression of the freedom I now have and cherish. I have fought for this freedom and am not going to relinquish it.

When I was in boot camp, there was a mural in our barracks that stated that “freedom is not free” with a soldier kneeling over the grave of another weeping. Freedom is cherished in a way by those that have fought for it that the comfortable will never understand.  My friends take their liberties for granted and cant relate. There is no greater feeling that to regain your liberty after having lost it for so long. I am free from being short of breath tying my shoes, free from feeling like I am going to die going up two flights of stairs, free from the embarassment of not being able to get out of a chair because my butt is stuck between the arms. Free from the remarks when I get in the buffet line, free from depression because I hate what I see in the mirror, free from overpriced ugly clothes at specialty stores that look terrible, free from having difficulty getting out of a small car…….. I am a free man, fought for it, paid for it with sweat and tears and struggle AND FAITH THAT IT CAN BE DONE!

Im going to be changing shifts again and will be on midnight shift for about 7 days so I am not going to be on much. this has been a really tough week work wise and havent done much as far as commenting etc…..

I rotate shifts about every 7 days from days to afternoons to midnights so as you can imagine, it gets a little difficult.

not ignoring you guys, just trying to keep up and get some rest.

I have been wondering about the BMR calculator I have been using and started looking around. It seemed like it was a little to permissive in relation to resting  rate calorie requirements. I looked at this one and it seems very good and alot more realistic.

http://caloriecount.about.com/cc/calories-goal.php

What do you think?

Keep the Weight Off with Daily Weigh-Ins

Sometimes the hardest part of weight loss is keeping it off. It can be daunting to know that within two years, most dieters regain two-thirds of what they lost! But researchers at Brown University Medical School in Providence, Rhode Island studied 291 people (mostly women) who had lost at least 10% of their body weight (an average of 44 pounds) in the previous two years. Participants were given scales (and encouraged to use them daily), as well as different levels of support (either a monthly email, an internet chat group, or face-to-face meetings).

Exercise Extra: Muscle weights more than fat, but takes up less space. So don’t be surprised if you end up gaining some weight as a result of exercising.

I have had a really involved week. Ran 3.5 miles on monday, tues session with trainer, today session with trainer then for extra credit, did a kickboxing class. Dude, that was over the top but I loved it. I never sweated so hard and was totally wrung out. This is what I was looking for, never done group exercise but boy was it fun. Group exercise really adds a new dimension to working out and is by far a less expensive alternative to having a trainer and you work plenty hard thats for sure. There have been a number of posts I have read lately about wanting a trainer but cant afford one, now I can say that a great alternative is a group workout because you are still being guided through a routine and you work hard.

I am definately keeping this in my toolbox.

I was going crazy with my bronchitus and it wasn’t going away anytime soon. I was beginning to wonder if the antibiotics were actually sugar pills! I had some really bad sweats, missed work yada yada yada.  The whole time I have been dying to get out for a run and knew that if I did, I would have big issues, being sick and short of breath. Finally, it seems to have broke and I am still hacking a little but feel fine. Although it is chilly up here right now, about 39 degrees, it was beautiful and I resisted the urge to wait one more minute so I went for a run. I was a little concerned because I have been either flat on my back for 3 days or really struggling, having a hard time breathing the other 4 days. I could tell that my fitness level was down a little but nowhere near what I was expecting.  Before I knew it, I had run a little over 3.5 miles, then walked the remaining 1.5 miles.

I really needed to do this, if anything to make sure and re-assure myself that I am still on the right track and to prove to myself once again that I am ready for the upcoming 5K. I feel so much better when I am running and working out and I get a little down if it has been a while. I love to run, it represents victory in my life. Having been almost 400 lbs (385), running was not an option. Now, it is a new found freedom, a new passion, an outlet where I am always a champion.

I finally had the nerve to put up some before and after pics. There weren’t very many before pictures because I was too ashamed to have my picture taken. so here it goes….  The other picture is of me CHEESIN’ in the dressing room after finding out the I can comfortably fit the next size smaller. :)

I would have never believed that I, The Highly Exalted Poobah and Grandmaster Of Couchpotatodom, would ever be entering a 5K, but I am. I have managed to go from gasping for air after a few phone poles to running 4.5 miles and running over 3 consistantly. Seems like an impossible dream come true. I look at myself with “fat goggles” and think that nothing has changed but how could you lose over 60 lbs and not change. Clothes are practically falling off, I am able to do more than ever, and loving every step of the way. I double checked with the doctors office today about my weight at my pre-employment physical and I was right, it was 385 confirmed. Today, I weighed in at 323.

I guess, I want to do all of the things that my weight has denied me and that I have denied myself by being entombed in a self-imposed prison of flubber. I want to run, kayak, hike, climb, do pull ups, and most of all, walk PAST a buffet. - which brings me to a funny point, before I started my journey, the only time I would ever run was when they put fresh crab legs out on the buffet. Now, I ran in the sleet and snow with my hoodie up because I wanted to prove something to myself. I can do this regardless of the obstacles. 

I recently left buddyslim with the idea that since I had a page at another site that was a little more informative and so on, that I should just delete my profile and leave. Bad idea. I didnt realize how much I needed the interaction with other members not to mention the support.   Basically, what I am trying to say is that I totally screwed up and left friends high and dry because I thought that it wouldn’t matter. Now I am missing you guys and would like to get my buddies back if possible. I guess I really need you guys, your shared thoughts, support and the occasional kick in the britches. I’m sorry for taking off on you guys.